Series Five (1982)

27 "No Councillor" Terry Ravenscroft Peter Whitmore 19 October 1982 (1982-10-19)
Sir Dennis Hodge wants Terry to run for councillor of Purley East as he wants a man on the inside so that his firm can sell more fire extinguishers to the council. Terry says he doesn't want to get involved in anything illegal to which Sir Dennis replies that if he doesn't his job will be moved to Iceland. Reluctantly, Terry agrees and Sir Dennis organizes a meeting with his campaign manager who turns out to be his next door neighbour Tarquin Spry. They suffer a string of campaign disasters making the election too close to call. Terry ends up losing by one vote to the Socialist candidate. When Sir Dennis says that they will have to discuss Terry's move to Iceland Terry introduces the newly elected socialist councillor as their new area salesman.
28 "Swingtime" John Kane Peter Whitmore 26 October 1982 (1982-10-26)
Golf fever has gripped the Medford household as Sir Dennis Hodge has arranged a golfing weekend. June is taking lessons and Terry buys a new set of clubs from a bargain warehouse that June has told him to avoid. Once they arrive Terry spends most of the weekend hiding in their room because Malcolm has told Sir Dennis that Terry has won golfing trophies in the past, well knowing that they were only for crazy golf. On the last day of their stay Terry gets roped into a foursome with Sir Dennis, Malcolm and Colonel Culpepper (Ballard Berkeley). Terry doesn't know what to do as Sir Dennis expects the "champion in our midst" to win easily. On the course Colonel Culpepper's hearing-aid whistles constantly, which puts Sir Dennis in a bad mood, while Terry's cheap golfing equipment gradually falls to pieces. By the eighth hole Colonel Culpepper is too drunk to continue playing and Terry has run out of clubs so they both go back to the clubhouse. Later, when Sir Dennis gets back to the clubhouse he asks his secretary Miss Fennel to get rid of his golfing equipment as June and Beattie had joined them and won every hole on the back nine.
29 "Noise Abatement" Dave and Greg Freeman Peter Whitmore 2 November 1982 (1982-11-02)
Terry has taken up woodwork as a hobby and goes to look at a wood-turning lathe that his nephew Alan has seen for sale. When they arrive June sees that the owner has a bandage on his hand and tries unsuccessfully to talk Terry out of buying it. To make space for the new equipment, Terry asks Alan to remove the junk from their garage, but his van breaks down and he has to empty the contents including a piano on to the Medford's front drive. Terry and June are frequently disturbed by people playing the piano as they walk past. Meanwhile, someone in the neighbourhood has taken to playing their drum-kit during the night causing Tarquin Spry, the new neighbourhood noise abatement chairman, to investigate. Later on, when the Medfords are going to bed they hear loud music from outside. Assuming it is someone playing their piano Terry goes outside to stop them but discovers that the noise is coming from Tarquin's house.
30 "Eyeball, Eyeball" Terry Ravenscroft Peter Whitmore 9 November 1982 (1982-11-09)
Terry buys two CB radios for use at home and in his car so that he can talk to June when he is coming home from work. She isn't impressed as he took the money out of their Paris holiday fund. When trying them out the next day Terry takes his eyes off the road and drives his car up the back of a removal van knocking himself out in the process. He comes round to find himself trapped and contacts June on the CB radio for help. The police find him 24 hours later but June doesn't let him out until he agrees to sell the CB radios and take her to Paris.
31 "Playing Pool" John Kane Peter Whitmore 16 November 1982 (1982-11-16)
Terry comes in from the garden in a bad mood because the neighbourhood cats keep using their sandpit. Terry spots an advert for a £12 pond at a new garden centre and suggests that they get one to impress Malcolm and Beattie who are coming to dinner the next night. At the garden centre Terry breaks quite a few items which doesn't please the assistant (Bernard Bresslaw). June is annoyed that a £12 pond has in fact cost them £87.50, and as Terry reminds her, an additional 50 pence for the goldfish. After many back-breaking hours Terry has finally finished the pool and comes in to be greeted by the news that Malcolm and Beattie have cancelled their dinner date.
32 "Bingo" John Kane Peter Whitmore 23 November 1982 (1982-11-23)
Tarquin and Melinda Spry ask Terry and June to take their place at the church hall old folks group where they are due to give a talk because they believe that the lady in charge of the bingo is fixing the result. Terry and June agree to help the group and along with the vicar they begin surveillance on the bingo lady only to discover that she is fixing the draw as a way of helping the old people who are impoverished yet won't accept charity.